Turns out, actually being a genuinely good person is the easiest way to have influence over others, and get them to like you.
In 1936 Dale Carnegie wrote How to Win Friends and Influence People after intense study of effective leadership, the psychology behind why people like each other, and how to approach tough situations without giving offense.
Far from being sneaky ways to get what you want, or sleazy selling tactics, the methods Carnegie describes about how to properly interact with others would make the world a better place if universally adopted. You could recognize one of these tactics being used on you, and still feel no ill will towards the person employing it.
Much for my own benefit and reference, this is an overview of the key takeaways from How to Win Friends and Influence People. Read the whole book to get the most benefit from Carnegie’s lessons.
Think of How to Win Friends and Influence People, as oil for the gears of society.
1. “Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.”
It just makes people defensive and breeds resentment. Criticizing and condemning makes it harder for someone to admit they are wrong, because they now feel the desire to justify their actions or thoughts. Even if they change their ways, it will not be lasting.
2. “Give honest and sincere appreciation.”
Everyone wants to feel needed and important. Those who fulfill this craving for others will be held in high esteem. But it is easy to tell shallow flattery from actual recognition of good qualities and hard work. Look for qualities worthy of commending. Continue reading