By Jennifer Lade
There’s been a lot of discourse in the past few months about the War on Women. It’s a phrase that’s been thrown around to talk about how Republicans allegedly want to keep women down, because pissing off half the voting population will somehow help them get elected. But how about the War on Women by other women? In this scenario, a majority of women value gun control higher than they value an individual’s right to keep and bear arms. And if this opinion translates into a vote for gun control, they are putting themselves and all women at risk.
In a recent national survey by the Pew Research Center for the People & the Press , conducted April 4 to 15, 2012, 49% of Americans say it is more important to protect the rights of Americans to own guns, while 45% say it is more important to control gun ownership. But when those statistics are broken down by gender, it shows that 60 percent of men believe it is more important to protect gun rights, while only 39 percent of women do.
Ladies, if you are not among the 39 percent, I urge you to extract your head from your yoga-sculpted derriere and think for two seconds.
Girls, guns are our friends. And not just for the tattooed, gin-swilling, tomboy girls out there. Every woman can benefit from being armed — and even if they aren’t packing themselves, they can benefit from more females being armed in general.
There is a lot of data out there that shows a correlation between gun ownership and lower crime, as well as data that shows that gun control doesn’t disarm criminals (see John Lott’s book, More Guns, Less Crime, for example). But for the sake of argument, let’s assume gun control actually keeps guns out of the hands of criminals. (It doesn’t. That’s a load of BS. But I digress.) Now, as a woman, you can confidently strut down the street knowing that all the criminals are completely without guns. Doesn’t that make you feel safer?
Well, it shouldn’t. According to the FBI, 80.5 percent of people arrested for violent crime in the United States in 2010 were male. The average male won’t ask for directions, put the toilet seat down or commit, but the average man is also 5’9 ½” and 191lbs., according to the CDC. Could you take him in a hand-to-hand fight if he were to attack you, even unarmed, on the street?
I am no delicate flower. There was a time not too long ago when I could do 8 chin-ups and run a mile in 5:33. So in other words, in my best shape ever, I had the strength and speed of a 14-year-old boy. A lot of good that will do me if a 200-lb. guy tries to force me into his car or steal my money.
You know what might be more effective than trying to scratch his eyes with my nicely manicured nails — or worse, running to the police after I’ve been mugged? A sleek, sexy, .38 Special Smith & Wesson BODYGUARD, produced from a Coach purse and pointed at his face with an unwavering, moisturized hand.
158 grains of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
Firearms have been called the great equalizer, and for good reason. Firearms erase any physical advantage an assailant might have — size, strength, speed — because they make it so you don’t have to get close to the person to harm him. I don’t care how often you use the StairMaster at the gym; that sketchy dude in the white van will still beat you in a fight.
Unless you are armed. Then my money’s on you.
What if you both have guns? You’re still better off. Guns are the great equalizer, remember? So in an ironic twist, the gun that liberals would want to take away from you is actually creating one of the things they purport to love the most: a level playing field.
But if the thought of owning a gun is just too upsetting to your delicate sensibilities, by all means, keep practicing your damsel-in-distress scream and the stiletto-kick to the groin. Just don’t use your vote to stop your female brethren from using a more effective means of self-defense.
Ladies, it’s time we stop shooting ourselves in the foot.